Just to Stay in the Corner of Your Heart
by fillthesilence
Summary: Moments in an affair. Five years in the future Emma finds herself drawn to Puck. Puck/Emma mentions of Emma/Will and Puck/Quinn


**Title:** Just to Stay in the Corner of Your Heart

**Pairing,Character(s):** Puck/Emma mentions of Emma/Will and Puck/Quinn

**Rating:** R

**Spoilers:** If you've seen the first 13 episodes then none.

**Warnings:** Adultery, Slight Quinn bashing, Overly Emo!Puck.

**Disclaimer:** Clearly I own nothing.

**lll**

He's at home waiting, her prince charming who she waited so long for. Your princess is off in some ivy league castle far away from your dungeon. Her son is sleeping soundly after being lulled to sleep by his father's soothing voice. Your daughter is off in a sunny state getting her beauty sleep after being tucked in by a man who isn't you.

Her life from the outside seems perfect. A loving husband, a bright adorable son, a good job, a beautiful home. But the day you helped her wheel a bird bath out to her car you saw a crack. She nervously asked you for a cup of coffee. She sat in the parking lot and waited 30 minutes until your shift was over. You can't remember ever talking to her before unless you'd gotten into a fight and you hadn't seen her since you graduated three years ago and you're confused as to why she wants to spend time with you, now.

You sit starring at your mocha something that tastes like dirt. You notice she's not as crazy now, she just wipes the lip of the cup leaving the tabletop and chair untouched. You've been sitting in quiet for fifteen minutes before she lifts her head, her doe eyes are moist with tears. Her voice is empty as she says "I love Will, I really do." You have no idea why she's telling you this. Why she brought you to this coffee shop. Why she picked you to come too. After a moment she picks up her clear plastic cup and asks if you need a ride home.

**lll**

It's a week before you see her again. Innocently looking at wind chimes. You're not sure if she's stalking you or if she's just lonely. But you realize the sight of the redhead brightened your dull day just a bit so you don't really care either way. She makes small talk about flowers and fertilizer, saying she's thinking of planting a garden come spring. You know next to nothing about flowers even after working in the gardening department for close to four years. Her phone starts to ring and by the tone of her voice and the lie about where she is you can tell it's Mr. Schuester. You wonder why she's lying, why she felt the need to say she was at Target when she was actually at Walmart. She keeps talking, gives you a small wave before she turns her cart and walks away.

**lll**

It's been a month and you've all but forgotten the awkwardness when you walk out the store doors to see her leaning against your brand new used car. You shake the question of how she knew that was your car as she quickly says something about an out of state performance, a headache and grandparents. Before you can ask what she's talking about you're in your car with her heading to a hotel. The odor of the car seems to bother her and you have to agree the car smells of cheese and sweaty balls.

The hotel room is cheap and dirty and she seizes up when she walks through the door. You're not sure what you're doing here until she's naked on top of you. She's beautiful and quiet. For thirty minutes she kisses, licks and grinds against you and after she's done she falls to your chest and whimpers like a kicked puppy. You're not use to this. You're use to banging and leaving. It's a small blow to your ego for her to cry like this. But you're not angry, just depressed. You try to kiss her damp hair but she pulls away. Locks herself in the bathroom after grabbing her clothes from the floor.

You're still naked, laying on your back glancing at the ceiling with it's splatters that look an awful lot like blood. She comes out looking flushed and sad. But there is a slight glow that wasn't there before and that gives you a small pat on the back. Her hands are awkwardly clasped and her ankles are crossed. She looks like your sister when she was little and unsure. She tries to talk but her words catch. She clears her throat and walks over to you. For the first time that evening you feel self-conscious and you try to grab some sheet to cover yourself but they've all been kicked to the dirty floor below.

She leans over you and you feel like a child about to be scolded. Instead she presses a feather light kiss to your temple and whispers "Thank you." She's out the door in a flash and you fall asleep soon after the door clicks shut. You wake confused. It seems like a dream but the red scratches on your chest say otherwise.

**lll**

It's nine weeks before you see her again. Just like last time she's leaning against your car, looking less shy and more beautiful then you remember. The ride to the hotel is less awkward. She doesn't say where he is or where the baby who's not really a baby anymore at three years old is. Instead she talks about the improved odor of your car. In a silly way your kinda proud. The sex is more heated this time. She's more into it. She wants it harder and faster. You like hard and fast but something about her milky skin makes you want to take your time but she won't have it.

Afterwards she lets you touch her this time. You rub your chilled hands against her warm back. She's rambling about some kid that tried to breast feed a cat and if you weren't so sleepy you'd be dying with questions about the little freak, but instead you kiss her and ask if she'll stay the night. She bits her tongue and pulls away. Says she has to be home to sing Johnny to sleep.

She leaves and you wish she she hadn't come at all. She has a home to go to. She has a child to sing too. A husband who wants her, a husband who doesn't think she's useless. You don't understand why she's fucking you when she has a life. You're pissed off and depressed. If she comes again you won't let her in.

**lll**

You see them all together, walking around the mall that following Friday. He's pushing the stroller and she has her arm linked with his. The sleepy baby is a lot bigger then you remember him. He had been just an infant the last time you saw him. You remember Mr. Schue talking none stop about the little guy you're whole senior year. You remember his face when she walked into the Glee Club rehearsal room with the little bundle, he looked so happy, proud and in love with the both of them you could hardly take it. As the others cooed over the baby the sullen look on a certain blond's face brought slight comfort, the bitch.

Mr. Schuester is beaming as they walk up to you. He makes small talk about Glee and life and you listen nodding your head while looking down at the baby. He has his mother's red hair and his father's curls, that's normally a bad mixture but on him it looks cute and you feel confident saying he'll grow to be a stud like yourself one day. You look over at her, she's pressed herself firmly against him, laid her hand atop his. She looks guilty and sick. It should make you feel good, she is after all using you but you realize you don't want her to hurt. You make up a lie so you can make a quick exit. You have no where to go but back to your mother's drafty basement and you're in no hurry to get back there so you just sit in your car. An hour and a half later they come out with a few bags stashed in the stroller and a sleeping toddler resting on his father's shoulder. She looks happy. It just makes you more confused and even more depressed.

**lll**

A week later you walk out of work to find her in her usually spot, starring at the ground holding a bag of McDonalds. "I got you lunch." She says in a cheerful tone after finally lifting her head. You said you'd never let her in again. But you're hungry and cold and she's got food and looks awfully warm. So you unlock the rusted doors.

You sit in the parking lot eating your Big Mac. She's not saying anything, just picking at the french fries you laid on the dashboard to share. You were going to ask if she'd like some ketchup but instead you ask why. "I don't know why. I don't know why I'm here or why I'm doing these things." She says honestly. It's not enough but you let it go. She's just as confused as you. After you finish your second Big Mac she leans over and wipes the sauce from the corner of your mouth with a paper napkin she's been playing with. It's sweet and it makes you smile. She puts the napkin in the empty bag and gets out of the car. Shutting blue/green door she waves before walking off to her own car.

You rest your head against the wheel for a minute, you don't know if she's making your life worse or better but either way you like having her around.

**lll**

It keeps going on like that for months. Every time she comes she opens up a little, talks more. You find she's actually quiet funny and she can make you laugh rather hard. She lets you touch her more intimately, doesn't leave as quickly.

She tells you one week she's pregnant. You've always used a condom when you were with her but those things aren't always a hundred percent. That thought hasn't seemed to enter her mind and you don't want to upset her with it 'cause in the end what difference would it make if it actually were yours?

She makes an amazingly beautiful pregnant woman. She only gains weight in her belly and chest, her face and hair glow and she looks truly happy. You like her like this, you like making love to her while she's like this. You think it might be some sort of fetish but when you check out other preggo ladies you just feel a pang of anger in your gut, nothing in your pants.

She's six months along the last time she comes to you. She's excited. They finally decided to learn the sex of the baby. And although she normally never talks about him around you she can't shut up about him, the baby or Johnny. It's going to be a little girl and she's excited to buy dresses and skirts and she just knows it'll be a daddy's girl and she can't wait to see Will with a little girl. It isn't until she comes down from her high does she notice just how sad you are. She says "Oh, Oh gosh Noah, I'm sorry I forgot about..." She doesn't finish her sentence. She doesn't have too. You both know you use to have a little girl, for a minute before she was handed over to a chubby woman and man. You got to hold her once and in that moment you thought of running off with her. But Quinn had beaten it into your head that giving her away was best, you two were too young and stupid to keep her.

Emma's gone quiet after her foolish outburst. She's sitting on the bed half dressed looking out the second-floor window. "I can't keep doing this you know. I can't come here again." She says turning from the window to look at you. You knew this was coming but it doesn't make it hurt any less. It's not cool or manly to cry but you can't help it. You want her, you want her to stay, you want her to be yours, you want that growing child to be yours. You want a family, you want a family with her. You want her.

"Oh Noah. You are such a sweet sweet man." She kisses your checks and stands up. She finishes dressing and by the time she's finished you're full on bawling. She looks guilty as she goes to the door. "You'll find it someday Noah. You'll find your family one day." She says before shutting the door.

You fall asleep wanting to hate her but you can't. You can't hate her, you can't hate Quinn either because it's not them. There is something clearly missing from you that makes you so useless, unwanted.

It's not them. It's you.

**lll**


End file.
